On The Edge.

I'm on the edge. And I don't mean of glory.

I have spent the last few weeks at the computer typing, designing, and printing. Endlessly printing. I went through a yellow XL ink cartridge in a day. Today, in an effort to serve others and help my beloved, I ran errands this morning... to the car repair place... to Walmart... to Sam's Club... to Staples. I purchased more ink and searched for a particular weight of cardstock that perhaps my printer would like better than the heavy stuff I already had. We had a sad thing happen in our ward - a sweet 11-month-old baby passed away. I offered (Bill didn't want to ask after my weeks working on the ward history) to help make the programs. A couple of days ago I designed one, then printed it out for proofing and approval by Bill and the mama. Once a couple of additions were made, they were approved and ready to print, thus my errands for more ink (after printing - endlessly printing - 4 x 100 pages worth of ward history earlier this week) and paper. Then I spent between 2 to 3 hours feeding one page in at a time (to satisfy the sensitive printer) x 40 x 2 (no easy double-sided printing). As the last program was printing, I looked with satisfaction at my neatly folded pile of programs depicting a beautiful little boy with amazing blue eyes. Then I noticed the error. The one that not I, nor Bill, nor baby boy's mama had caught, and not a simple typo that could be overlooked by those attending the memorial service tomorrow. I had typed the date of his passing wrong... by 10 days. 

That was the straw. The camel went down, and I started venting my frustration at the entire day.

In Sam's Club I had hurried to collect the things I needed to purchase, only to jump into a very short line (one man with 3 items) in hopes to quickly get on my way. I unloaded the contents of my cart on the belt, then waited... for about 10 minutes. A manager was needed TWICE for that man's little purchase. I was exasperated as I watched 8 different transactions go through the line next to me. 

Needless to say, the entire morning was full of anxiety and slow drivers. When I arrived home, thinking I had been in such a hurry so Bill could get to work (since the other car is being repaired), he informed me that he would work the remainder of the day at home. Nice to know.

I wanted to get the wedding invites mailed today. Didn't happen.

I'm STILL printing them as addresses and names trickle in. I've had a couple of do-overs due to additional information. I'll be peeling stamps off of a good half dozen envelopes in an effort to salvage them for future use.

So... here are my constantly-evolving-will-this-ever-be-done goals:

The ward history is finished and printed. I have to collect about 10 more picture release forms, then I'm turning it in to the Ward Clerk on Sunday for him to deliver to the Stake Clerk. I don't want to even look at it again for a good 3 months.

I'm mailing the wedding invites tomorrow. Due to the memorial service, I probably won't make it to the post office during regular hours of operation to send the out-of-country invites and the 10 extras Lex has requested. That will have to wait until Monday.

Bill downloaded the memorial program and is running to Office Depot even as I write for double-sided color copies. I hope the results are worthy of my diligent efforts to make them special. 

I feel as though my day has been a bust.

My shoulders hurt from sitting at the computer half of the day.

My mind feels so overloaded I that I have lost pert near all recall and focus.

Did I mention that I've been asked to make 380 Pioneer Trek journals by June?

Hmmmmm.... I think I'll sit on that for a week or two.

I feel better now.

Make It Do.

I'm flailing a bit these days. 

I've been steadily plugging along on each task as it arises, but my success rate is not very good. I've spent many an hour in front of my computer wildly working on the ward history. I had the two older sisters that have been my assistants the past few years approach me on Sunday and ask about it. What?? I thought they had been released pert near a year ago. Ooops. (When I chatted with Bill about it after church, I told him I thought I could even recall a conversation we had months ago about that very thing: no assistants... he wasn't sure if he remembered that or not.) When I was explaining to these inquiring sisters why I had not contacted them earlier (I thought you had been released), both said that, to the best of their knowledge, they had not been released. Hey, ladies, you're off the hook. I'm finishing that baby up this week, whether I've obtained all the information I've been asking, begging, pleading, and re-asking for or not. I'm going with what I got. Period. I think they were both quite relieved. I am looking forward to the happy day when it's printed, bound, and delivered. I'm shooting for this weekend.

On Valentines Day I invited the Elders and the Yoshikawas over for dinner. As I pondered what to make that would be festive, I decided I would go with fondue. I'm pretty confident in my fondue-making abilities, and carefully planned and shopped for the necessary ingredients. My only concern was my fondue pot. It's small, and can only hold a single batch of fondue, usually resulting in an eating break while more is made. It tends to burn the cheese, even on it's lowest setting, and often needs constant temp adjustments by turning it off and on. It requires an extension cord for those moments it's low-setting-intense-heat is necessary to reheat the cooling cheese, and it's a bugger to clean. As I pondered these problems, I had a lightbulb tender mercy moment: USE WHAT YOU HAVE - chafing pans. I have 5, for goodness sakes, and they sit neatly boxed up in the crawlspace for those rare occasions I make food for large groups of people... hardly ever. Billy-my-hero agreed to pull them out, wash them up, and give them the old college try.

I made 2 double batches of fondue. Initially we tried melting it in the chafing pans, but the process was too slow, so we quickly finished it on the stove. We learned that it's best to put boiling hot water under the pans, not cold - it takes way, way too long to heat. Because I was doubling the batches (and didn't have Austin around to remind me how much milk/lemon juice to add), I inadvertently added too much liquid, soooooo... the cheese was a bit "off" in texture (flail), but luckily still tasted delish, so we made it do. I feel that the chafing dishes, once our initial lessons were learned, were a big success. The perfect solution to fonduing with a group. I am quite happy with the discovery.

 (I also made hearts with my li'l smokies... they were super cute and festive. Thanks Pinterest, couldn't have done that one on my own.)

Yesterday I tried making cake balls. Not necessarily because I wanted to, but because I caved after the third request (could somebody please make 2 doz cake balls??) had been sent to moms from the Young Women for New Beginnings. I guess I'll do it. I'll admit, I felt a little pressure and angst as I begrudgingly sent my affirmative response. I told myself it would be easy and wouldn't take much time. Hah.

I pulled out my cake ball pans yesterday and mixed up my cake-mix-from-a-box with the "how to make it taste like scratch" directions from Pinterest. Bad idea. Those little babies came out so crumbly and pretty much fell apart as I tried to remove them from the pans. I wanted the quickest solution, so decided to make it do by making the OTHER kind of cake pops... the kind where you crumble your cake and add frosting, then form it into balls. Bill and Mar helped me roll them while we had a rousing discussion on the power of Satan for Family Home Evening. I popped them in the fridge overnight per several quickly-viewed online tutorials.

This morning I was determined to git 'er done, and pulled out the supplies to finish them up. In the spirit of "making do" I dug out some styrofoam from one of my drink dispenser boxes to hold the freshly-dipped pops. (Yes, I plan to put it back.) It was all going pretty smoothly until I was about halfway done. The night previous I had made two separate batches of the cake+frosting mix. I think I may have put too much frosting in that second batch... and those were the pops I started having trouble with. Some didn't hold together and others didn't want to stay on their stick.

As my mind contemplated what to do, I decided that I would NOT give in and whip up another not-like-from-scratch batch of regular cake pops. Back in the day, that would have been my preferred solution. No, today I will make it do. It will be fine. I may not have 24, but I'm close, I don't need affirmation of my baking skills, and I won't eat any refreshments tonight to offset the discrepancy.

 I think I ended up with 20 or 21. Some are peach because I was getting low on yellow melties and added some pink ones I've had in my freezer curtesy of the Billats when they moved. I'm makin' do.

I was going to chuck the fails, but figured Bill and Mar might want a taste of our creation.

Now I'm back to the working on the ward history (right after this post, I promise).
Whatever it is, it will do.

My goal is to print on Friday, bind and deliver on Saturday. 

Then I can get back to wedding stuff.

OFF.

We updated our outdated computer system so Bill could do our tax returns.

It's kinda like having a whole new computer (things look different) that's jam-packed with a lot o' old stuff. Bill has meticulously gone through Taylor's and Lexee's files to purge items that are no longer relevant. I hope they don't mind. I just did my first import of pics only to discover that the updated system pops them in at the top of iphoto instead of the bottom like the old system. That does not make me happy, as I have carefully formulated my picture-import and organizational routine over the past 7 years. The edit buttons are in a different place, and it's all throwing me off a bit.

Two weeks ago, as I was quickly tidying up the loft for Mar's piano lesson, my anticipation timing and depth perception were a bit off, and I hit my toe against this:

Right here, to be precise:

Ouch, that hurt.

After two long weeks of taping my toes, gulping ibuprophen, and whining about my foot, I finally went to the doc today so he could tell me, yes, that toe is broken. I've broken toes before, but this little baby is a middle toe... it moves with every step. Stairs are especially painful.

I was oh so fearful that I would get the boot.

I've had a boot before and I hated it.

I was not, however, going to pay for another boot. I'm too thrifty for that.
 Seriously, I think I paid pert-near $100 for that dumb thing.

So I asked Bill to dig out the boot... just in case it was the necessary treatment for the injury.

Luckily, treatment only involved a "surgical shoe."

Not glamorous, but not as blatantly obvious and difficult to maneuver as the boot.

Only $25. I'll take it.

I have to wear it for one month.

I've been going a little nuts today because I am definitely a barefoot gal at home.

 I can do it. I have to do it. I want to be done with toe pain by Spring Break, and if this is how it's done, I'll suck it up.

Lately I've been spending most of my time-at-home assembling wedding invitations/announcements.

It's been slow, tedious work, but definitely worth it... I hope!

I'm finally getting Lex and Jason's mailed off to them. They want to see them before the mass mailing goes out. My fingers are crossed that they love them (and that there are no spelling or grammatical errors).

And I hope the Rexburg mailman knows where they live. Haha.

I'm still waiting for the cute wedding stamps to be delivered - they aren't available until Valentines Day - so Lex and Jason just get the stamps I have on hand. They are going in the mail today, I promise!

Here's what's ready to date:

Names and addresses keep trickling in, so I keep on keepin' on.

I can't wait to send these babies off!

An interesting side-note... two other receptions of people from our current and previous wards are occurring on the same evening as our open house in CO. It should make for an interesting night. I'm not sure if it means we may have more or less guests. I've tried to somewhat coordinate refreshments, so if people are invited to all three events, at least they won't be eating the same thing. It's getting so, so close... two months from today!!

For Shilo: Confidence.

Dear Shilo,

Here are a few thoughts I want to share with you as you contemplate your future:

"The Lord knows both what He will need you to do and what you will need to know. His is kind and He is all-knowing. So you can with confidence expect that He has prepared opportunities for you to learn in preparation for the service you will give. You will not recognize those opportunities perfectly... But when you put the spiritual things first in your life, you will be blessed to feel directed toward certain learning, and you will be motivated to work harder." (President Henry B. Eyring)

"Our efforts to learn must be combined with personal worthiness for us to receive the guidance of the Holy Ghost... We are imperfect beings, but each of us can strive to be more worthy of the companionship of the Spirit, which will magnify our personal discernment and prepare us to better defend the truth, to withstand social pressures, and to make positive contributions.

...Our Heavenly Father expects us to use our agency and inspiration to examine ourselves and our abilities and decide the educational course we should follow.

...We know that nothing is more perplexing than not knowing what to do with your future, but nothing is more personally rewarding than discovering your own abilities. Read your patriarchal blessing, consider your natural aptitudes and talents, and go forward. Take the first step, and doors will open... With the Lord, 'all things work together for [our] good' (Romans 8:28), and the education we receive comes in incremental steps as our lives unfold before us.

... Be wise. Each of us is different. If you seek His counsel, the Lord will let you know what is best for you.

...We may have to struggle to achieve our goals, but our struggles may yield as much growth as our learning. The strengths we develop in overcoming challenges will be with us in the eternities to come. We should not envy those whose financial or intellectual resources make it easy. The stuff of growth was never made of ease, and persons who have it easy will need to experience their growth with other sacrifices or forego the advancement that is the purpose of life.

Most important, we have the obligation to continue our spiritual education by studying the scriptures and Church literature and by attending church and the temple. Feasting on the words of life will enrich us, increase our ability to teach those we love, and prepare us for eternal life.

The ultimate goal of education is to make us better parents and servants in the kingdom. In the long run it is the growth, knowledge, and wisdom we achieve that enlarges our souls and prepares us for eternity, not marks on college transcripts. The things of the Spirit are the things that are eternal, and our family relationships, sealed by the power of the priesthood, are the ultimate fruits of the Spirit."

(Elder Dallin H. Oaks)

You can read the article in it's entirety here.

You will never disappoint me as long as you are living in a manner that allows you to have the Holy Ghost as your guide and companion. Even though [in mortality] I've known you the longest, your Heavenly Father knows you better. 

Don't ever ever ever let "what people will think" influence what you know is right for you.

"While it certainly takes courage to face perils, the true badge of courage is overcoming the fear of men."
(Elder Lynn G. Robbins)

I have confidence in you!

Dad has confidence in you!

The Lord has confidence in you!

Heavenly Father has confidence in you!

And I will ALWAYS love you (think Whitney Houston here).

Love, Mom XOXOXOXOXOXO