Heart

Today's swim meet was a heartbreaker.  Shilo's first meet since her injury.  She didn't want to even go, but with gentle (but firm) encouragement from her parents, she went, and she competed in three of her five events.  Her first event was a medley relay, and her coaches kindly switched her from the backstroke to the butterfly.

Her friend, who usually swims the butterfly, swam the backstroke in Shilo's place.  They remained competitive, despite their handicap, and placed second.  Shilo agreed to try her 100 Back.  This is where the heartbreak set in.  She had only practiced the back for one length of the pool one time since her accident, so we weren't sure how she would do.  I could tell by the first lap that she didn't have the form or speed needed to win.  Her leg, still unable to straighten, was a definite drag (literally).  She kept swimming, though, lap after lap after lap.  She placed last, but only by a stroke or two.

When I met up with her after the race, I could tell she was frustrated.  Angry at her injured leg.  Embarrassed by her placement.  I could see the tears come as she turned away.

As a mom, I have cried for every one of my kids.  They don't usually see it... I save it for times of solitude.  Instead, I try to let them only see the supportive, understanding, but strong mom.  The mom who can talk down the worries, embarrassments, and stresses.  The mom who builds up in times of loss, problem-solves in times of distress, and soothes in times of pain.  But then I cry in secret.  Today has been one of those days.

But I just have to say, that girl has heart.  She stuck around for her final free relay.  She usually swims the anchor leg, but again, kind coaches and friends changed up the order, and she swam second.

During her leg of the race, she remained competitive.  She kept up with the uninjured girl in the lane next to her.  (The relay team in the far lane in this picture was boys.)  Their relay team lost, but not because of Shilo.  The coach chatted briefly with Bill and told him how much he admired Shilo for showing up at the meet today.  At least the meet ended on a more encouraging note.

So the girl used to these this year

is learning to settle for doing her best, whatever the outcome.  

And Mauri got her first DQ of the season (at the last dual meet of the season).  I think she was more interested in the awesome venue (Lifetime Fitness), than in the meet.  She seemed to get distracted.  She wasn't too sad about it ("A guy told me I flutter-kicked, and that I should remember to touch the wall with two hands," - things she hasn't had a problem with all year), and enjoyed the meet.  Afterwards, on our way to Dairy Queen (for the DQ), she asked could we please get a membership there.  At that awesome place with a slide into the pool (which, funny enough, wasn't even working).
Uh, no.

Prelims are Tuesday.  After the 100 Back, Shilo begged for me to tell the coaches just to scratch her from the meet, and call the season over.  I told her I would.  I'm hoping, however, that she might change her mind and swim at least one (or more) of the Prelim events she entered (before her injury).  I am proud of her regardless of her decision.
To swim, or not to swim, that is the question.